its not nice. really. thank God you're a guy!(if you are, if not, you share the pain with me)
but i like being a girl. in a way. i just wish i was smarter or more attractive or slimmer. then the attention would be on me. being the "middle" of all the thing mentioned just now is not nice at all.
i wanna be good at something. then people will know, eh, that is Karen the *insert great adjective here*!
i suck at relationships with people. i suck at studying. i suck at being "sociable". i suck at being nice. i suck at public speaking. i suck at writing. i suck at being a good kid. i suck at being an obedient kid.
the list goes on. and on.
i am even stuttering as i talk nowadays. i think its the low self esteem thing coming over me.
owh no. its not good. someone help meeeeeeeeeeeee!:(
< / emo >
i found Mr. Avila's blog. thanx to someone who called him/herself "CIMP Lecturer Fan". omg, CIMP lecturers are superstars, they have fans! hehe.
its weird how he is so different from what i thought he was. i was reading some of his posts.
its weirder that now i am reading his blog. i wonder if he would mind me reading it. but then again, its not like he can block me from reading. hehe. i'm a stalker of blogs. really. i read, but never tell people i read. unless i really know them, then i comment.
oh, i found another ex-CIMPian at HELP! Veron!!! she's from year 2003. just before me. hehe. we were telling Aaron to have Theme Days at ADP. just like the old days! i can't believe i found another CIMPian. we all share the same feeling when it comes to CIMP. hahah. we were like, "it was so fun!:)".
i am supposed to be doing my homepage design and send Aaron some proposal. but i don't feel like it.
all i wanna do is crawl under my comforter and read my book, cry and sleep.
yes, i feel damn i dunno how to put it? depressed? is that a correct word to describe how i feel?
i guess so.
but i can't. i have responsibilities. i have the need to be perfect in every way. but i always fail. so whats the point eh?
owh ya, KarenLee and Hazel's waiting for me services. to make blog layouts for them. i think that would have to wait. im SO not creative right now. i can't even design a homepage. bleh.
but i need something to show James tmr. owhhh craps. business group meeting tmr. shucks. need to read up on oil prices. its 942. i shall stop here and get to work.
no use getting all emo. not good. delay delay.
i wish some anonymous person, not anyone i know personally/internet-ey, would talk to me. i need to tell someone my frustrations.
i need a damn psychologist! maybe i shall try counselling@ HELP..huurrmm....maybe. after all, its free :)
sidney created this smiley for me.
:-.) <-- thats me with a mole on my nose.
hahahhahahahhaa. little things in life that make people happy
-quote Lorraine from ADPSC meeting today.